Identity
2004

Who am I? There’s a question I will never be able to answer.

Did you know that over the span of about eight years, the human body will replace every single cell that it is composed of? Our bodies are continually changing and renewing themselves. Just as continuously, our minds are refreshed with as many new ideas as there are cells in our bodies.

One of the basic truths of the Buddhist religion is the doctrine of anatta, or “no-self.” This teaching states that the self does not exist because it is forever in a state of transition. Human beings never simply “are;” with every moment of our lives, we are always changing. I am not now who I was one minute ago, or one second, or one nanosecond, because in that small space of time, I have changed in some way. Change is the characteristic of human existence, and I am no exception. Every event that occurs in my life serves to further evolve my thinking and my personality and better equips me for the future.

In my constant transition, I am many things. I am a daughter and a big sister, sharing my space and my life with five other people who mean very much to me. I am a granddaughter, a niece, and a cousin, part of a larger unit that is scattered across the country but still close in my heart. I am a friend, always ready to listen to another’s problems and help in whatever ways I can. I am a gamer, willing to compete in any test of skill or faith, bound by the gamer’s honor never to cheat and always to act respectably. I am a leader, be it at school, at work, or with my friends, but I am also a follower, and I know when to step back and listen. I am a child of God, trusting Him with my whole life and believing in Him always.

I have a past, a present, and a future. It is my duty to remember the past, live in the present, and prepare for the future. This can be a delicate balancing act, as it is important not to let any of these things weigh me down or keep me from what I know is right. I must hold my past forever, as it is kept alive in my memory, and I must use it to make good choices in the present. I must use my present to prepare for my future, and to ensure that the future’s present will be a good one. My present composes my life, and I must always be aware of the present and make it the future I prepared for and the past I can remember.